The Game of Broken Hearts
by invasianofasians
Summary: Ruthless, five of the most famous boys in the world, bound by power. They've been breaking fan girls' hearts everywhere they go, and now they've transferred to Karakura High. Too bad for them, because they've just met their match: five equally independent girls that seem to hate them. Let the game begin. R&R if you'd like! 1st person POV, enjoy
1. Prologue

**I came up with this idea mostly after reading another great fanfic called "Mall Wars" and from a fellow writer SnOwYfOrEsT! but can't remember the author's name! Whoever you are, please update soon. Let me tell you though, it has NOTHING to do with a mall, or anything like that for the matter. The standard disclaimers apply here as well.**

**Sorry that it's really short! It's a prologue, after all. If you want more you better tell me soon.**

**P.S. Thanks Lia!**

-Prologue-

"AAACCKK! IT'S THEM!" The crowd of fan girls squealed and yelled as four figures stepped out of a flashing limo. The boy in the lead slid down his sunglasses, revealing light, cat-like amber eyes. They instantly paralyzed an unlucky (or lucky depending on who you were talking to) group of girls, causing them to squeal once again and faint in shock. Replacing his shades, Kurosaki Ichigo -the hottest and most wanted model in the world- turned around to face his friends.

"Yo. Get a move on, guys. Can't you see how easily these girls break?" Again, his deep voice trapped a wave of fan girls and they slowly sank to their knees in worship. The boys behind him smirked in response.

"Totally."

"..."

"You're oozing enough charm to make them faint, you know."

"I mean, seriously? C'mon, we need a little competition here or something." Ichigo sighed as he strode through the crowd, the masses parting for him like Moses parting the Red Sea. His companions followed, stopping only to offer a sexy smile or a cheeky grin or two to the oncoming girls. Suddenly, a noise was heard from behind him. Ichigo turned, as did his friends, to see the smallest member of their elite group sneeze into a small tissue.

"KYAA! HITSUGAYA-SAMA, GIVE ME THE TISSUE!" Several dozen people reached out, as Hitsugaya Toshiro dropped the tissue onto the ground. This sent many hands scrambling and fighting over it.

"Tch. As usual. They think that they're so special just because they picked up something that we've already _used_, for heaven's sake." Husky voices plus overreacting fan girls equaled to a few more screams and fainting.

Abarai Renji teased his little friend. "You're making them drop like flies. It's no fun to play with dead flies, you know." Toshiro casually flicked off a piece of dust from his shirt.

"As if I give a shit, Abarai. Why should I care? They're just ordinary girls. And we all know- " He waited for the others to finish his thought.

"That girls- " Ichimaru Gin continued.

"Are always-" Ishida Uryu said.

"This easy-" Renji picked it up right off the bat.

"To play with." Ichigo finished. "And let us not forget just how natural it is for them to fawn over pretty boys."

"Agreed," the others acknowledged. After all, this is the elite of the elite we're talking about. Five boys that were the best in whatever they did.

The four of the hottest males on the planet, and their equally cute and equally young manager were all the rage. Kurosaki Ichigo, the model, was their leader. He was a natural flirt with enough talent to drown the planet.

Hitsugaya Toshiro had been freezing fan girls' hearts ever since his debut in Carnegie Hall with his heart-breaking and fist-pumping music, a fusion of classic and rock. He was also a six-time Grammy Award winner, had just finished up his third world tour, too.

Abarai Renji: hot, smart, and the third sexiest man alive who also starred in too many movies to count, with an equally impressive amount of Academy Awards stacked in his house. I mean, JJ Abrams wanted him. So did M. Night Shyamalan and Steven Spielberg.

Ichimaru Gin was the mastermind behind the highly successful website , which could accurately diagnose people who had diseases with a few clicks. His intelligence also made him a must-have for aspiring entrepreneurs who wanted a boost for their company. A child prodigy that was accepted into MENSA when he was only two, he had lived up to his reputation.

And who could forget about Ishida Uryu? Their intelligent and cute manager that had it all under control. Nothing could faze him, not even the fan girls themselves. Well, he really wasn't _their_ manager. He was Ichigo's manager to be exact.

Today was just another day for the group. Just another group of fan girls. Just another ordinary day of breaking hearts. Just wait for tomorrow, when they would enter their new school, Karakura High.

Something about this school had pricked Ishida's interest. It seemed wanly familiar to him when he had typed into his iPad. Ishida wasn't sure what had made him click all the way to registering at the school, but something just did. Maybe it was fate? However, he didn't believe in trivial things like fate. He liked to sit back, relax, maybe have some popcorn, and enjoy the show. Ishida was never a performer. No, he was above all things a spectator in the big event called life.

Ichigo was excited for tomorrow. More new girls meant more new hearts to break. He wasn't sure if Toshiro was still helping him keep track of how many flirtatious remarks he had given out each day, but he was sure the number was higher then Heaven itself. But boy, was he excited. A new school meant fresh meat. Unconsciously he licked his lips, anticipating the squealing, the yelling, the fainting, the pure _fan-girling_ he would face tomorrow. He couldn't wait.

Toshiro was only worried about the prospect of schoolwork the next day, and the fan girls. An eyelid twitched agitatedly as he thought of how many fan girls one could possibly have. The answer? More than a hundred million and counting. All he had to do was simply smirk at them and BOOM, they would keel over, dying of happiness. Any physical contact resulted in the same thing, only it would happen twice as fast. Toshiro hated that feeling, but that was what you got when you were oh-so popular.

Renji had only one goal in life: make it big. Spill something on the set? Make it big. Fight with a co-actor? Make it big. Talk with a gorgeous girl? Make it big. Go to a new school? Yep, make it big. And in the impossible case that he died? Of course, he would make it freakin' big. He never took things seriously, and tomorrow wouldn't be an exception. If he stunned the girls, great. If he made them squeal, even better. If he made them "Kyaa" over him and faint... Well, that was the best case scenario.

_Ah, I wonder if we're going to continue the game from before?_ Gin tapped a finger thoughtfully as he surveyed the crowd. For him, life was full of fun and games. It didn't matter how many girls' hearts he could break. It was only about seeing who got the last laugh. After all, Gin had _always_ gotten the last word or laugh in. It was his nature: cunning, sly, and totally fox-like.

As the five boys all thought about different things, all of them shared a single thought.

_Karakura High, here we come. When the dust settles, we will leave behind a trail of tears, a million broken hearts, and a reputation to be feared._

_Fear us, Karakura High._

**Author's Note: **Well, that didn't turn out quite how I thought it would...(to myself: you sure?)

Anyway, I know it might be kinda OOC but that's how I will write this story. I will keep their original traits but add in a touch of arrogance. That's it.

If you want the real story you better tell me!

Thanks to Aurelia Artemee for beta-reading this! Thanks for sticking with me!


	2. Chapter 1 ICHIGO

**Author's Note: **XD XD Thanks guys! So guess what? RIGHT! I DECIDED TO POST THE NEXT CHAPPY FOR YOU! XD Sorry for the wait... T-T

**Disclaimer:** (apply_standard_Bleach_disclaimer_here)

Once again, feel free to review! I don't bite at all...faves are greatly appreciated as well xD gives me an incentive to post the next chapter up!

-Chapter 1-

ICHIGO

Smirks. They came in many different forms, from sexy, to smooth, to shy, and everything in between. They were my specialty, one of my best weapons against girls. No one had ever resisted them before, but I wasn't surprised. After all, who could resist a tempting boy who just happened to be the most sought-after model as of now?

Confidently, I walked into the classroom but never even got the chance to step in. A choir of gasps, shrieks, and squeals awaited my buddies and I. Easily, I brushed them off as if they were mere conversations, while trying to overcome the wave that crowded around us.

"Can I have your autograph, Kurosaki-san?"

"Please, give me anything!"

"May I have a kiss?"

"Kya~~ you're actually in our class!"

"Easy now, angels." I waved my hands around so they could give me a little personal space. I sought out the girl that had asked me for the kiss. It was a pretty girl with braids and a pair of -sadly- dorky glasses. I reached a hand out, and pulled her to me.

"Of course." Smiling, I pecked her on the cheek. The fan-girling exploded as the girl blushed and looked away. Through my line of vision, I could see Renji giving me a thumbs up, Toshiro facepalming, Ishida checking his iPad (does he ever go anywhere without that thing?), and Gin giving me one of his signature grins. It seemed like I had already attracted most of the girls in the class.

"Tch." I could recognize that noise anywhere (Toshiro made that noise whenever something agitated him) but I could tell that it didn't come from where we were. It came from the very back, near a clump of desks.

My eyes scanned the rest of the room for the sound-maker, and they suddenly stopped and glared.

Damn. My charm's not working all the way! Even though I'm definitely on center stage right now, some things just aren't enough.

Five. Freaking. Girls.

Five freaking girls were ignoring me. As I stared angrily at them, one rose to meet my gaze.

"Like what you're seeing here?" I joked as I made my way to their group. In response, she launched a full-fledged glare at me.

"Hardly." That word felt like some stones hitting me and bouncing off. It didn't hurt, but it sure did annoy me. I thrived on attention. And I was going to get it no matter what.

I set on my trademark scowl -the one that made many hearts sing with joy- and sat right on her desk. She didn't bother looking up at me, and just went back to drawing whatever she was drawing. A second look proved it to be a crude doodle of bunnies dancing in a field. With well practiced hands, I tugged it out from under her pencil, scrutinizing it.

"Hm. Not bad for a first grader." I sneered as I pictured her reaction. What I didn't expect was to feel a sharp pain in my right wrist. Her pencil, freshly-sharpened, was digging into my tender flesh. A cold look flashed over her face.

"And I suppose you could do any better? Psh. All you can do is stand in front of a camera and smile. Now give it back to me." Again. Those words were starting to annoy me.

"As if." Scoffing, I gently pulled the paper, testing its tension. A loud _rip_ let loose as the paper tore in half. "Here you go. You can have it back now. Could you please stop hurting my hand now?" I waited for the emotional outburst, the tears and the sobbing that were sure to follow.

Instead, I felt the lead jab even deeper into my skin until it snapped. My wrist hurt like shit, the burning starting long after the initial snap. I turned back to her. She smiled at me, her hand holding the broken pencil which was chipped and destroyed.

"You told me to stop, so I did. What else do you need?" Aw, what the hell? She had just ruined me in less than a minute. I mean, humiliated me in front of the whole class. So, I decided to pull out all the stops, once and for all.

"Well aren't you a feisty one," I whispered in her ear. She turned away, a strand of silky hair brushing my face. And then she was talking to the other small, cute girl. The one with raven-black hair and chocolate eyes.

"Hey, Momo. What's the count?" The girl she was talking to looked up, startled, before wordlessly handing her a tiny booklet. I watched as she flipped through the book, resting on a page.

"You've flirted with about thirty-seven girls in less than fifteen minutes, kissed one, and now, flirted with me...hm...not that many times, actually." Saying this, she snapped the book shut.

I eyed her curiously. "Aw, you like me so much that you keep track of how many times I've flirted with you?" I couldn't resist adding in a sexy grin as well.

No one expected Momo -Peach Girl- to speak up. "On the contrary," her voice was soft and spirit-like. "We were just keeping count of how many hearts you're going to break."

That's it. These bitches are going down.

"Sure you're going to resist my offer of a date?" I looked down at the first girl. Her head was lowered as she answered.

"Hell yes I would."

"Oi, look at me." I placed a well-trained index finger under her chin and jerked her face up to the light. What I didn't expect to see was...

Beautiful. Oh, wow. Look at me, the hottest male model in the world, admiring a mere schoolgirl. But it was true. Her dark black hair ended with a slight curl just above her shoulders. And those eyes. God, how many models in the world would _kill_ for those eyes. Dark, mysterious violet engulfed my senses. That was all I could see.

And then she had to go ruin the moment for me, again. Just great.

I felt a sharp tinge of pain on my right cheek and a burst of warmth on the left as she assaulted both sides at the same time. Less than a second was all it took, before I stumbled backwards into a desk in shock.

"What the hell was that for?" I pressed a hand to my flaming cheek in shock. The three other mystery girls came over to look.

"Ne, ne, Rukia-chan, don't you think he just looks darling with that lip gloss mark?" One of the three, a strawberry blond by the looks of it, stood over me, before smiling back at her friend.

_What does she mean?_ Then I remembered the warmth on my cheek. Reaching up, my fingers felt a sticky, wet sensation that smelled faintly of strawberry. I pulled back, scrutinizing what was on my hand.

Lip gloss. That girl is a piece of work. She freaking _kissed_ me! No one has ever tried that before, much less get away with it in the first place. I turned back to see her -no, _Rukia_- delicately apply another layer.

"Pity," she remarked dryly. "It was a waste of gloss." Capping the tube, she turned back to me, her eyes dancing, daring me to do something. My anger flared up at her carelessness. She was straightforward, like an arrow that would pierce through you and keep flying in a straight line.

"Wasn't that the nicest thing for you to do, _midget_." Ah, sweet glory. Her eyes narrowed. I guess she just hated being called that, but man, she was short. This girl was barely taller than Toshiro, a fact that I kept to myself to use later.

"What about it, _strawberry?_" Aw, f*ck her. She just had to use the damn nickname that Renji came up with first time we had met.

_-Flashback-_

_I was sitting in the room, waiting for my guest co-model to show up. My hair had just been styled, my clothes fresh from their maker. I twitched in irritation. Whoever was posing with me was ridiculously late. Like, by a freaking **five** minutes._

_"Sorry 'bout that." A person materialized behind me, placing a hand on my shoulder. I jerked backwards in surprise. "Traffic's really bad right now."_

_"What the hell is that supposed to mean? You're supposed to be on time, dimwit. If you aren't on time, you could consider yourself fired." My tone was menacing, but the person didn't even bat an eyelash. He sat next to me on the couch, an arm slung over my shoulder. I spat at him in disgust._

_"My, my. They didn't tell me that my guest co-model was gonna be like this. My name's Renji by the way. What's yours?" His red hair was tied up in a messy ponytail with spikes, a white bandana wrapped around his forehead. _

_"And why should I tell you, red pineapple?" It was true. His hair reminded me of the spiky top of my least favorite fruit. Renji glared heatedly at me, but I ignored him all the same. "Well, whatever. My name's Ichigo."_

_And for some weird reason, Renji started bawling his eyes out. His laughter rang throughout the room. It was so loud that the stylists wondered if he was having a seizure or not._

_"You got a problem with my name?" My fist was out, ready to punch the lights out of him. _

_"Wha-? No, no, no! Of course not. HAHA I mean, strawberry? Seriously?" Renji was throwing a fit, literally rolling on the ground._

_"Shut up! It's supposed to mean this," I scribbled on a piece of paper, stabbing each character as I went. "'Ichi' is for 'first place,' 'go' is for 'guardian angel.' Get it right, dumbass."_

_Renji grabbed the paper from me. "BUT if you write it THIS way," scribbling ensued, "it becomes STRAWBERRY."_

_"Oi just shut the hell up before I punch you!"_

_-End Flashback-_

My face grew hot with anger and rage. How dare she make fun of me? Did she even know who she was talking to? Huh?

"Yo, cut the crap, midget." I snarled at her. Her response was pretty much the same. Cool, calm, collected. Her feelings didn't show out at all.

"Not until you stop calling me midget, strawberry." Ouch. Accent on the "strawberry" there. That girl...Rukia, she had quite a bit of nerve.

"Do you know who you're even talking to?" I took a step towards her.

"Of course. The densest bastard in the world." Surprisingly, instead of backing up, she stepped forward, too.

"Nope, wrong answer." Step.

"Oh, I know. Maybe the biggest airhead in the world?" Step.

"Wrong again." Step. We were only a few feet apart now.

"Hm. This is getting quite difficult. I guess I could say that you are the most famous idiot as of now?" She closed the distance between us.

I opened my mouth to speak. "I'm sorry, but-" I was cut off by a smooth finger on my lips.

"Shut it, strawberry. I don't need to know who you are or what you do. I don't care if you're a member of the hottest boy band or a model. Just shut up, cut the arrogance, and I'll stop." Almost immediately the finger left my lips, leaving me quite pissed and nerve-stricken at the same time. My blood boiled through my veins.

_This is so on, bitches._ My eyes flitted from face to face. Peach girl with her shy demeanor. Strawberry blond with that cutsey-wutsy attitude. And the other two. One seemed to look like a taller version of Rukia, her black hair falling past her shoulders, and I could see the same cold intent in her eyes. The last, a pretty girl with very long orange hair, smiled at me. I caught a trace of malice in the gentle curve of her lips.

Slowly, I walked back to my group. They seemed worried, instead of laughing at me. I wondered why.

Then, I remembered. This was the standard procedure. I was the bait that was thrown out first to see what would happen. Most results were what we expected. But _this_ had never happened before. Girls able to stand up to me? Impossible. Girls that could talk back to me? I must've died and gone to Hell.

"Gin, you decided on the game yet?" Renji asked. Ishida rolled his eyes. Great. Another game.

"C'mon. We've done one at each school we've been to. Can we please stop with the games?" Ishida whined. "Don't you guys ever get tired of them?"

"Nope!" This time I had to respond. The games that Gin came up with were always extremely entertaining. They always had something that had to do with girls, broken hearts, and fun. The most fun we would ever have. "Toshiro, what's your say in this?"

Poor him. We were always dumping the most responsibility on the puniest shoulders of the group. Toshiro didn't react; no one else expected him to anyway.

"I've got it." The familiar shoulder-cringing voice wove its way into my ears. "It's called, ah... Make, Take, and Break."

"Eh? What's that?" Renji asked. Leave it up to the dumbest person in our group to ask.

Gin sighed. "Simple. There are five of us; five of them, yes? Well, we each take on one of them. First, we make friends. Then, we take them out. And last," he rubbed his hands together in anticipation. "We BREAK them. Great idea, right? The winner is the person who can cause the biggest break down."

"Sounds like a plan," I agreed. Renji grinned like he had just won a million bucks. Ishida looked like he was about to melt into a puddle and die. Toshiro...was being himself as usual.

"Do we get to choose who we want? Cuz I want that Rukia girl; she's feisty enough." I beamed.

"NO! I want her!" Goddamn Renji just had to poke his frilly pineapple head into my business.

"ME!"

"NO, ME!"

"Guys, shut up! You know that they have ears, too. Right?" Ishida finally looked up from his iPad.

"Whatcha doing?" I tried to steer the conversation away.

"I'm making a file for this...game." Ishida replied haltingly.

"That's...great. As usual."

"Can you give me the stats?"

"Kurosaki, so far, you've won six of these games. Renji has won five of them, Gin has three, Toshiro has ten..."  
"What about yourself?"

"Nine," he snapped the iPad's cover shut.

"But...but...how? How could you beat me?"

"Cuz he has charm, of course," Gin slunk an arm around me.

"And I don't?"

"..."

"Can we just get on with this? Since Ichigo 'claimed' his partner first, Renji, you'll just have to choose someone else." That hellish iPad was out, Ishida's fingers flying over the screen. I had to resist the urge to catapult the iPad through the nearest window.

"Fine." No one could mess with Ishida and that...thing. Renji scowled, but immediately brightened after I pointed out an obvious fact.

"As you can see, there's always that taller girl that looks like-"

"Hell yeah, I want her."

"Okay then." (Insert annoying finger-tapping on a goddamn iPad here)

"I wonder if strawberry blondes are really as stupid as their stereotype. Ishida: put me down with the blond." Gin absentmindedly began to pat Toshiro's head. The sudden drop in temperature was enough evidence that someone was pissed.

"Then that leaves the orange girl and Peach Girl," I said quickly, hoping that by saying this I could single-handedly stop the apocalypse.

"Give Tosh here Peach Girl!" Gin smirked.

"Then I guess I get the orange girl." The iPad...ugh, I wanted to chuck it at Ishida's head SO BADLY.

"Mission MTB, start!" Revived and refreshed, Renji screamed into the classroom.

"Yesss..." Gin purred.

"Oh yeah, I'm gonna win this time!" My whole body was full of the anticipation of the fun ahead.

"..."

"Kurosaki just shut the hell up. You too, Abarai."

_Let's see who'll come out of this alive. I'm pretty sure I will, of course. Not that it means anything, anyway._

**Author's Note:** Um. What a weird ending I guess. (Correction: that was...)

Did you like it? Was it too OOC? Please tell me so I can change it up a bit!  
Thanks for reading! Hope you scroll down to the review section...

P.S. Lia (my beta-reader), you're the greatest! YES YOU ARE THE GREATEST STOP SAYING NO. XD XD


	3. Chapter 2 RUKIA

**Author's Note: **Finally something from the girls' POV. Enjoy~~~

Also, you will realize that there is no Fem Byakuya in this story... O_O how do you guys come up with that stuff? :P Lol.

-Chapter 2-

RUKIA

"Ugh, who the hell do they think they are?" I fumed in my seat as Orihime and Rangiku gave me a concerned look. Momo-chan, being the kind girl she was, wordlessly handed over a small ball.

It was a stress ball, to be exact. I don't know how I do it, but I've managed to wear out stress balls in less than a month each. I will laugh, if these are meant to cure or reduce my stress. As if. But I knew that Momo meant well, so I gratefully accepted her gift.

"Um, Kuchiki-san? Don't you think you're overreacting quite a bit?" Orihime ventured into the unknown. Luckily for her, I still had some sense in me. So I didn't just scream at her.

"I swear, Rukia. You've gotta keep your temper down a bit," a hand patted my shoulder, startling me out of my thoughts. Tatsuki smirked at me, before her glowering expression faded and was replaced by a frown. I recognized it. It was the signature Tatsuki frown, one that combined the elements of annoyance, boredom, and the need to kill.

"Tatsuki!" I exclaimed, as a familiar dark aura squeezed around me. Tatsuki placed her other hand on my other shoulder and began shaking me back and forth.

"You let them take advantage of you! That's not good, Rukia!" Her concerned face stared at me. "Ugh. Seriously, I don't know how you guys survive without Rukia here, especially when I'm preoccupied with something." She directed that statement to the other three girls. Orihime's head bowed in shame, while Momo stuttered out a hasty apology. Rangiku just twiddled her fingers nervously, before smiling brightly.

"But Tatsuki-chan! Did you see how Rukia reacted?" Rangiku, being the silly girl that she was, cried with glee. "She freaking kissed him on the cheek!"

"You did what." Tatsuki's eyes bore down on me. I knew she was pissed when she phrased a normal question into a statement.

"But I had to give him a taste of his own medicine," I protested angrily. Seriously, who did he think he was? The king of the world? The ruler with absolute power? Just so you can get an idea, I really, really, _really_ despise people like that. They just think that they're everything in this world. Ugh. I. Hate. Sick. Rich. Twerps.

"And that was your way of payback?" Sighing, Tatsuki sat on my desk, swinging her feet back and forth. "I thought that you, of all people, would know how to actually payback someone."

"Um, Rukia-san, I'm sorry to disturb you, but wouldn't that gesture give...Kurosaki-san ideas? That you like him as well?" Wait, why was Momo of all people saying this to me? Huh? Normally she would be so meek and shy that you would forget she was even there, but...

...Momo did have a good point. I didn't want a stupid pretty boy to fawn over me just because I kissed him, but that kiss could've suggested a million different things.

Things like...for example, way too many angry fan girls.

"KUCHIKI HOW COULD YOU?"

"WAHHH! I DON'T STAND A CHANCE!"

"WHY THE HELL WERE YOU FLIRTING WITH HIM?"

Gah. Those stupid people don't know anything at all and now they're berating me? The hell? I guess Momo's intuition was actually right. They seriously thought I had a crush on him.

"Just shut your mouths!" Many people gasped when Orihime screamed at them. Even though I was used to it, I still jumped back a little. When most people met Orihime, they only saw the sweet, caring side of her. However, when something (or most likely, someone) seriously pisses her off, BOOM. Nice girl gone, bad girl here. Orihime had also been known to fatally injure people with almost anything.

"What gives you the right to talk to Kuchiki-san like that? Huh? Is she really that bad?" Oh, gods. Orihime was ranting. That can't be a good thing.

"Well she was flirting with him!" A random girl protested.

How I hate those Mary-Sues. They think that they're so perfect, yet they're not perfect at all.

"But does that give you a right to do that?" Orihime pressed on, a stampede running over that poor girl. "If I remember correctly, there is a so-called 'golden rule,'" here she made the air-quote marks with her fingers, "that says that you have to treat others how you wanted to be treated."

I twitched my nose impatiently. "Orihime, why are you bringing up first-grade rules in a high school setting?"

"Orihime-chan, I do believe that no one actually follows that rule," Rangiku hurriedly pulled my angry friend from the crowd.

"Tch."

"Ah, stop tch-ing!" Tatsuki implored. I looked up at her, half-annoyed and half-uninterested. It wasn't like I really had a choice; it was just a bad habit that had developed after years and years of constant annoyance from many different things.

"I'm sorry, Tatsuki. It just slipped out of me," I shot back, instantly regretting my tone.

"Eh, no harm to it, right?" Patting my back, she lounged back on the desk, staring out of the window and at the clear sky.

"Yeah, sure..." I trailed off, completely lost in thought for a moment. This whole thing was too much to digest. It was hard to take in, much less formulate an adequate plan of attack. But I, for the pride of the Kuchiki, must come up with a way to get pay back!

"Um, Rukia? I think your brother is influencing you way too much," Tatsuki helped me down from the desk where I had been striking a victory pose. "Now get down, clear your head, and get a plan ready."  
"What plan?" A new voice purred from the side of my desk.  
Wait. Four words: who the hell was that? Eh, make it five.

A silver head popped up right next to me, tinted gray-blue eyes with a dash of slyness. My first instinct was the slap the smirk outta him, but something about the adoring and gushing fan girls made me rethink my actions.

"What the hell do you think you're doing here?" I let out a hiss of steam.

"Aww, I can't say hi to a pretty girl like you?"  
"And what gives you the right to talk to me like that?"

"Ah, ah, ah. Ichigo did say that you were quite the feisty one, am I right?"

"Shut up."  
"Oh no, don't be that way," he mock-pouted. "I'm just tryin' to be friends here, get it?"  
"Tch. As if."  
Darn it. His face lit up with internal glee. "Hey, I found another 'tch'-ing girl here, Hitsugaya! You could be best buddies!"

"..."

"May I ask, what makes you think that we want to be best buddies?"  
"Intuition, I guess. Of course, when it comes to cute chicks like you, my intuition works best."

"You do realize that the cheesy pick-up line you just used is not going to get you anywhere, right?"

"Mmhmm, possibly. But it never hurts to try." And then he winked at me. OH MY GOD GOSH DAMMIT DON'T BOYS EVER LEARN? My conscience was roaring up inside me, but I had to play it cool. Somehow.

"I should also mention to you that I am about three milliseconds away from punching your pretty little fox-face." My fist was literally twitching to punch that bastard in the face. And never regretting it.

"Don't you know that empty threats never work on me?"

"I was well aware of that fact." _Deep breaths, Rukia. Don't let him get to your head. _

_He already did,_ I remarked sarcastically to my inner conscience.

_So? Are you just going to give him the pleasure of seeing you go nuts?_

_Of course not!_

_Then calm down, ignore him, and hope he bothers someone else._

_Easy for you to say, hard for me to do._

_You always were a stubborn one._

Thank God. My conscience left. Now I don't have to go to a crazy house.

"I must say, MedOnNet is quite efficient, but the real thing is even better."

Huh? Why was he still there?

"Enlighten me," I shot back.

"Since I am _the_ creator of that website, it should be fitting that I am also the one best at diagnosing people."

"I'm not sick, dumbass."

"But you are." He raised his eyebrows, daring me to continue asking. Just to humor him, I did.

"Sick?" I scoffed. "Sick with what?"

"You're sick with..."

"Tell me before I punch that silly grin off your face."

"Love. You're lovesick, you know?"

(Insert game show "incorrect" sound here) WHAT THE F*CK? Where the hell did he come to that conclusion?

Minutes and minutes of agonizing withdraw built up inside me, and I punched him in the gut as hard as I could. Those martial arts lessons Tatsuki and Orihime made me take did go to good use. In the area of punching freaking perverts, that is.

The fact that his gut area seemed quite soft wasn't unnoticed by me. Hmph, that meant that he probably never worked out a day in his posh life. But, how could someone stay so skinny, yet never exercise? My thoughts were quite rudely interrupted by him again.

"Oof, you do pack quite a punch for someone your size," he attempted a weak comeback, staggering on his knees, panting all the while like some sick dog.

No one insults me and gets away with it, so I did the next rational thing.

I kicked -more like kneed- him in his manhood. Best place to get a boy on his knees, quick and easy. Immediately, that weird boy sank to the ground. He rolled around, trying not to scream in pain, but I could still hear his moaning and yelping.

"Stop messing with me, you perv. Leave me alone." Even though my hand and leg were stinging with a sense of shock, I felt a smile of satisfaction grace my face. Idiot.

Of course I wasn't in love. And even if I was, who would I be in love with? One of those idiot boys, you say? Sorry, but you're wrong. Like I said, there's nothing in the world that I hate more than disgustingly rich twerps. They weren't exceptions. No one ever was, in my book. Kuchiki Rukia's book is always very accurate in terms of the groups around school and such.

"Oh, and before you crawl back to your friends, mind telling me your name?"

"Gin. Gin Ichimaru," he groaned as he pulled himself off the ground, "and I hate your guts, girl."

"So we're reverting back to 'girl,' eh? Nice choice." I jumped back as he weakly pounded on the ground.

"Ohoho, but I do hate you now," he slowly hobbled back to his seat.

"Nice job there, Rukia!" Rangiku appeared next to me, beaming with glee. She gave me a thumbs up of approval.

"Is that enough revenge, Tatsuki?" I looked at the older girl as she held her hand up for a high-five. I slapped back, grinning.

Revenge in our group was often served with a load of whipped cream and one tiny cherry on top. Momo made her way over, and smiled brightly before writing down in the booklet. In tiny words, it said, _Rukia-san: punched and kneed a boy._

"Why do we even keep track of this if Rukia's the only one that ever tries to fight back?" Orihime asked. "I mean, I just talk. People never listen to talk; they only pay attention to others' actions."

"It's alright, Orihime. I'm sure that one day someone will see you for who you really are instead of what you look like," Tatsuki slung an arm around her friend.

Our peaceful conversation was yet again, interrupted. By those...bastards.

"NO! I want her!"

"ME!"

"NO, ME!"

I could recognize that snarky tone from a mile away. That Kurosaki dude and the other red head were screaming about something.

"Geez, can't they tone it down a bit? Other people are trying to concentrate here," Rangiku huffed as she delicately applied another layer of mascara to her already mascara-ed eyes, making her resemble some giant, humanoid raccoon.

"Well, boys like that are just naturally loud I guess," Momo shrugged. "They just want attention."

"You're right." Orihime nodded her head emphatically. "They're just sexist, racist, stupid, idiotic-"

"Orihime-chan, we get it. Yes, they're pigs." Rangiku butted in.

"Not only are they pigs. They're ugly, horrific-"

"Can I please continue?" A wave of heat rose in the room as Momo gritted her teeth. "If you can't give me five minutes to concentrate and finish saying what I was saying..."

"Sorry, Momo-chan." Orihime slunk backwards in fright.

"As I was saying, the boys thrive on attention. But we're not going to hand it over on a silver platter, right?"

"Right." I agreed. "We haven't spent all these years for nothing. And I'm not about to let some stupid celebrities take over our pride. What do you think?"

"I'm with you," Tatsuki applauded after my long spiel.

"Same," Rangiku purred.

"Um...okay then," Momo reverted back into her meek, shy-as-a-kitten attitude.

"...Guess I have no choice either." Orihime twirled her hair. "So what should we do now?"

Yesssss, I was ready. And all fired up.

"First we..."

**Author's Note:** Ooh...what's gonna happen now?

THANKS LIA!

~Levs


	4. Chapter 3 ICHIGO

**Author's Note" **Ugh...I'm doing this wrong... . Tell me if I am, okay?

**P.S. I'm going to Taiwan for August! Yay! But, this means that I'll only update like...every two weeks? Or less, cuz I'm not even sure if I'm gonna get WiFi there at all T-T **

**Anyways, I tried to write an extra-long one, just in case... xD So enjoy, and review about it! **

-Chapter Three-

ICHIGO

The girls are planning something. I am sure for it.

For one, all of them are gathered around in a huddle near the corner of the room. I can also hear them arguing, albeit in quiet murmurs. But still arguing is arguing. And naturally, I am drawn to arguing like flies drawn to honey.

Both my hand and pride still sting from that Rukia. She may have been a midget, but she packs enough force in that body to give me the scratch of the decade. And Gin the humiliation of a lifetime.

Of course, Renji and I ended up laughing our asses off when Gin slowly hobbled over to our group, his face a devoid of any emotion. Yet I could still feel anger, and pain emanating from him.

Poor Gin. Out of the five of us, he is the one probably in the worst situation right now. Not only has Rukia given him physical bruises, he also has the mental and status ones to deal with as well. Unconcerned, I left it at that because I know how easily Gin could adapt into situations. Heck, he can even make a broken arm into a big sappy story that had all the girls sobbing their hearts out.

"Are you alright?" Ishida pulled Gin into a desk, and watched as he slowly wilted like some giant white flower. "Does it hurt a lot?"

"How 'bout you get your ass over here and let's test it out," Gin hissed through his gritted teeth, wincing in pain.

"I will politely decline your... generous offer," Ishida stared back at the glowing screen in his hand. "I prefer to remain unharmed for the most part."

"Same here. Besides, since I'm already paired up with Rukia it shouldn't take long before you guys see her try and maim me." I boasted proudly, confident that no matter how many times she pushed me down, I would bounce right back at her.

"That Rukia look-alike seems really creepy to me. Look at how she glares at people. It reminds me of Unohana." Renji nudged my shoulder.

"Unohana? You mean your personal stylist?"

Renji shuddered, his eyes wide and horrified. "One time, I was eating some McDonalds even though the doctor said it wasn't good for my cholesterol and when Unohana heard about it..."

"She singed off part of Abarai's hair with a blowtorch," Ishida volunteered. "I heard about it during an appointment with his agent. You could hear him screaming three buildings away."

"And that's why I don't have long silky hair." Moaning, Renji buried his head in his hands. "All because of some fast food."

"Wait a sec," I stopped his rambling. "How does that have anything to do with the Rukia look-alike?"

A new voice joined in, its icy tone cold and hard. "The _Rukia look-alike_ would appreciate it if you used her real name."

I almost jumped two feet in the air. Renji beat me, clocking in at ten feet, setting an Olympic record in the jumping-out-of-your-seat-in-shock event.

"Ah, so you must be Miss Tatsuki Arisawa?" Ishida's perfect facade was in place as he beamed at her.

"You. Glasses dude, cut the crap. I only came here to tell you guys to shut up. Did you know that girls happen to have ears as well as boys?"

Oops. I gulped, my head throbbing, my body ready for the beating that would come crashing down on me.

"Whatever. If you guys love to talk about us so much, you might as well attempt to talk _to_ us," she whirled around before storming back to her huddle.

Jesus Christ. That girl has a fine temper.

"Cute and deadly; just how I like it." Gin had recovered, and was now eyeing Tatsuki and the others with a lustful look in his silver-blue eyes.

"Stop being hentai, Ichimaru. We all know that you're dying to get to know each one of them personally."

Eh? EH? DID... TOSHIRO JUST TALK?

"Yay! Hurray! Toshiro can talk!" I danced around Toshiro, feverishly patting his head and laughing like the crazed maniac some people thought I was.

"Of course I can talk," a fist flew towards my chin and connected with a loud crack. I stumbled backwards, my jaw screaming with hurt. "I'm not some toddler in diapers still learning the ABC's."

"Wha da hell wa da fo?" I tried talking with my jaw. "Ah thin i bwoke."

"Translation: Ichigo here is saying that he wants Rukia," a snickering Renji guffawed as I began to chase him around, screaming unintelligible insults.

"Sha up!"

"Both of you: shut the hell up before **I** shut you two up."

Eep. Toshiro can be quite frightening when he feels like it. I swore that I could see the glimmer of an ice dragon rise up behind him as his teal eyes locked on mine. Then again, it might just be the light. Or my overreacting imagination and paranoia.

"I'm very sowwy, Toshiwo." Cowering I backed away, my hands up as he advanced towards me.

Just when it seemed like there was no hope for the Kurosaki to survive the Toshiro-attack, the teacher smacked a ruler on her desk.

"Seats, please. For now, just sit with someone." Her demanding voice rang throughout the giant classroom. Right after her announcement a flock of fan girls swarmed, clambering and screeching to sit with us.

"Do we go along with our plan?" A freaked out Renji asked as a group of fan girls tried to lead him away. Toshiro had already disappeared under a heap of giggling girls. A tuft of white hair was the only thing I could see to even have an idea of where he was.

"There is no plan," I responded, my mouth slowly regaining its ability to pronounce words.

"Ishida, a little help here?" Gin pleaded as a different line of girls grabbed his arms and pulled him down. I could see the biggest mass heading towards me and braced myself for the worst.

"Girls, calm down. You will all get a chance to meet each boy personally." Ishida crossed his arms, his face grimacing into a frown. "I do not wish to use my security to threaten you. However, if you don't move right now, the consequences will be severe."

Apparently, these fan girls were immune to Ishida's I-will-literally-kill-you-and-call-in-security-backup spiel, because the next thing I knew they were clambering on top of me playing tug-o'-war with my arms.

"He's mine!"

"NO! I GOT HIM FIRST!"

"HEY, HEY, HEY. I CALL THE SHOTS AROUND HERE, SO GIMME!"  
"I guess it can't be helped after all." Swearing, Ishida snapped his fingers.

Uh-oh. I'm pretty sure I know what's gonna happen now.

Moments later, a cloud of dust enveloped the room, giving me some leverage to twist my arms and run towards the general area where Ishida was. Soon an equally pissed red pineapple, an angry cotton tuft, and a half-dead silver fox joined me. Finally the dust cleared enough so that I could see an agitated Ishida with four figures behind him.

There stood a bald dude, a tiny girl, a giggling guy, and a formidable hunk of a doofus.

Allow me to explain. Although our security looks like a ragtag group brought together for a passion of... (protecting? fighting? eating donuts?) Whatever it was, they weren't just for show. They can do quite a bit of damage without touching even a single hair on anyone's head.

We have Ikkaku: first line of defense, or our offense if you thought of it that way. Due to his pride for being bald, most people are appalled by his shiny noggin. Effectiveness? At least 50%.

If Baldy-san fails, Yachiru should work! A "lovely item" as we call it, Yachiru's sole purpose is to latch onto me (or Renji, Toshiro, Gin) and act all fan-girly. Effectiveness? Usually 50-60%.

In the dire case that even the pink-haired, candy-obsessed girl could possibly fail, we have the gayest of the gay: Yumichika. All it usually takes are a few twirls, a girlish laugh here and there, and _poof_. Most people would dash away screaming. Effectiveness? Could clock in at 95%.

Our final line of defense... well, you're just gonna have to see what he can do.

Unfortunately for us, all the fan girls were all mysteriously unaffected by Ikkaku's baldness, Yachiru's fan-girlness, and even Yumichika's gayness. Basically it went down like this: a girl smashed Ikkaku's head like an egg, someone bribed Yachiru with a lollipop the size of my face, and a few others beat up Yumichika while screaming "FAG, FAG, FAG" over and over again.

"Zaraki? You're on stage." Clipping his glasses, Ishida motioned to the hulk of muscle that lumbered behind us. Zaraki was huge, and boasted a huge-ass sword to boot. Yeah, I know what you're thinking. _Why the hell doesn't he have a gun or a grenade instead?_ Well... Zaraki likes to stick to tradition, and his tradition happens to involve lusty women, crazy bar brawls, and badass swords.

If he can't scare these fan girls, I don't know who else could.

"Yo, get outta the way small fry. I would love to trample all of you to death, but Boss says no." Zaraki swung his sword, catching the tip of it on a girl's skirt, and ripping up the whole damn thing. The girl screamed, and pulled what was left of her skirt down so that we couldn't see it.

Does she really think that we're perverts? C'mon, gimme a little faith please. I have much more interesting things to do than stare at some random girl's ass.

In the midst of all the discord, I noticed the pineapple and the fox had disappeared and reappeared in the seats next to their "partners". Then the cotton tuft sprouted up near Peach Girl (wow, two plants right next to each other). Ishida had vanished altogether.

Great. Just great. Why was I the only one standing between a bunch of scared/angry fan girls and a giant guard that could potentially single-handedly cause a massacre? Beats me. All I know is that the name Kurosaki Ichigo could probably cause the next World War. World War III: Hot Boys vs. Fan Girls. Nope, I don't want to know what will happen next.

Through the corner of my eye, I watched as Ikkaku loaded up his AK-47, Yachiru readied her Necco Wafer slingshot, and Yumichika stashed his pockets with mini "Tocca Stella Eau de Parfum" bombs. Hold on a sec; can ANYONE tell me what the hell "Tocca Stella Eau de Parfum" is?! Sounds like some complicated name for a stuck-up show dog to me.

Wait... it has the words "Eau de Parfum" in it... and the word "Parfum" means perfume. Ugh, so much for being a top model.

Before I could even blink, a flash of light came from the right side of me and I ducked. A silver blade shaved off a few inches of my orange hair. Satan (and his devil servants) charged from behind me. Screaming like a little girl I rolled on the ground, evading everything that came hurtling through the air.

"AND WHAT THE HELL DO YOU PUNKS THINK YOU'RE DOING TO MY CLASSROOM?! I DIDN'T GO TO UNI FOR THOSE HELLUVA LONG YEARS JUST FOR SOME BASTARDS TO RUIN MY CLASSROOM!" This statement came from the teacher. She was a woman who didn't seem to be older than any of us. Her dark eyes flashed with anger as she showed us her finger.

She didn't show us _the_ finger, nor did she flip us the bird. Her right index finger had what has got to be either the creepiest or most original pedicure I had ever seen. An ornate and elegant gold... dagger (I guess?) covered the entire finger.

"My name is Soi Fon, and I will not tolerate madness like this," she swept a hand across the whole room. I could see the damage (not to mention the chaos) that good ol' Zaraki and Crew had caused in less than five minutes.

"If you continue wrecking havoc, I will have no choice but to use this," Soi Fon wagged her dagger-ized finger, "on one of you. However, I can't guarantee what will happen. Would you like me to demonstrate it for you?"

"No thank you, ma'am." I backed away and slumped into the nearest desk possible. Luckily for me, I have a great sense of intuition and ended up sitting with the she-devil herself.

Rukia. She was too busy drawing those idiotic rabbits to notice me at all. Sighing with disgust, I slumped even further into my desk and whipped out my phone.

Time for some texting.

_OrangeStrawberryFTW: Anyone on?_

_OrangeStrawberryFTW: Hello?_

_OrangeStrawberryFTW: HEWRO?_

_OrangeStrawberryFTW: WTF WHY IS NO ONE ON? :(_

_QuincyCross777: KUROSAKI HAVEN'T YOU EVER THOUGHT THAT THE REASON THAT NO ONE IS RESPONDING IS BECAUSE YOU'RE BEING TOO PUSHY?_

_FrozenTealDragon: ..._

_xxxRedPineapplexxx: ..._

_SilverFoxAwYeah: ..._

_OrangeStrawberryFTW: Aw not this crap again..._

_QuincyCross777: ..._

_OrangeStrawberryFTW: . NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO_

_xxxRedPineapplexxx: Okay fine sorry._

_SilverFoxAwYeah: Just poking some fun at you. But Toshiro's never gonna change._

_FrozenTealDragon: ..._

_QuincyCross777: Kurosaki, you almost got killed by the teacher. Not a good way to start off in a new school, you know?_

_OrangeStrawberryFTW: 'Course I know that, Ishida._

_SilverFoxAwYeah: You're not gonna give Rukia-chan a good first impression either._

_xxxRedPineapplexxx: He never did in the first place._

_FrozenTealDragon: Kurosaki, Abarai, Ichimaru, Ishida. If you four won't come up with a backup plan, I'll be leaving._

_SilverFoxAwYeah: Hurry up Ishida!_

_xxxRedPineapplexxx: Yeah!_

_QuincyCross777: You know what? I hate this damn job. I'm always the one picking up after you guys. I'm the guy that has to risk his life -not to mention his social status- to help you douches do things the right way. The only sane one here is Hitsugaya, and even he has turned on me. Go find another person to kill, alright?_

Wow. That was... intense. Who knew that deep inside, Ishida felt that way?

_xxxRedPineapplexxx: Renji Abarai would like to humbly apologize to Ishida Uryuu for making his life a living hell._

_FrozenTealDragon: ..._

_SilverFoxAwYeah: Unlike Silent Guy up there, I also have something to say. I, Ichimaru Gin, am extremely sorry for having put you through all this torture for the past few years. _

Gah. All of their apologies were sappy and formal. Well, except for Toshiro's. Then again, what were you expecting? A twenty-page long, eloquent, written-in-old-Japanese apology? Hmph, as if.

It took me all of two seconds to hurriedly type up a quick apology.

_OrangeStrawberryFTW: I'm sorry, Ishida. It won't happen again._

_xxxRedPineapplexxx: YOU HAD SO MUCH TIME, AND THE BEST YOU COULD COME UP WITH IS **THAT** SHIT?!_

_SilverFoxAwYeah: Shame, shame._

_QuincyCross777: Actually, the fact that Kurosaki even took the time to pen out an apology -even if it was a rather poorly written one- is satisfying enough.._

_FrozenTealDragon: ..._

_xxxRedPineapplexxx: Well, Toshiro? You gonna say sorry or not?_

_QuincyCross777: Also, the mere fact that Hitsugaya has acknowledged my presence is a good enough apology coming from him._

_xxxRedPineapplexxx: So you mean I spent all that time for nothing?!_

_OrangeStrawberryFTW: Lol._

_SilverFoxAwYeah: Rofl._

_QuincyCross777: You do realize that if you were actually "ROFL"-ing that you would literally be on the floor, rolling around and laughing?_

Gin took Ishida's words to heart. A few seconds later I could hear Gin's weird snake-like chuckle from behind me and turned around, only to see him rolling on the hardwood floor. Weirdo. By now, Toshiro and Renji were (surprisingly) exchanging bets on how long it would take for Soi Fon-san to realize that Gin could be clinically insane.

_xxxRedPineapplexxx: Toshiro won the bet._

_OrangeStrawberryFTW: As expected from the prodigy himself._

_FrozenTealDragon: **...**_

_xxxRedPineapplexxx: Ooh, he bolded his...whatchamacallits..._

_QuincyCross77: Ellipses, Abarai. Ellipses._

_SilverFoxAwYeah: Aw man, that was a great exercise; you guys should try it out with me next time! Its fun~_

_xxxRedPineapplexxx: No way. I dun wanna muss my clothes._

_OrangeStrawberryFTW: You can count me OUT._

_FrozenTealDragon: ... ... ... ... ..._

_SilverFoxAwYeah: Oh I see, I see. It's okay Toshiro. I gettit._

_OrangeStrawberryFTW: Wait a sec...You can actually decipher the dots?_

_SilverFoxAwYeah: Of course I can. Yeesh. There's a reason why I dabble in Morse code._

_xxxRedPineapplexxx: What's that?_

_SilverFoxAwYeah: Something an idiot like you won't be able to comprehend. Forget that I said anything._

_xxxRedPineapplexxx: Excuse me?_

_QuincyCross777: Just shut up, Abarai. All you need to know is that Ichimaru can decipher Hitsugaya's writing._

_OrangeStrawberryFTW: Well that sure is helpful..._

_xxxRedPineapplexxx: Anyhow, are we ever gonna get back to the real topic at hand? What's the plan, Ishida?_

_QuincyCross777: We'll just go with our original plan, duh._

_xxxRedPineapplexxx: Which was?_

Ah, the irony in that sentence. I seriously think Renji has got to be the biggest idiot on the face of this Earth. Sure, he had won many awards, but those were just for acting. If he has ever acted as a nerdy geek in a movie before, I'm gonna buy a few platinum editions of that movie and watch it till I die. Tired of all the drama online, I clicked off my phone and waited for something to happen.

Speaking of which, Rukia's giving me a death glare right now. Oh, joy. Her violet eyes literally shot daggers at me as she grimaced in mock pain.

"I don't think that it's a great idea for you to make such a _great_ impression on Soi Fon-san the very first day, you know. She can get really pissed at you." Rukia sniffed.

"Your helpful advice would've been appreciated, had it come a few minutes earlier." I deadpanned. I soon learned that Ichigo's Sarcasm is great fuel for Rukia's Outrage.

"Stop trying to embarrass me in front of the class. I didn't build up my reputation for nothing, pretty boy. These years will not have gone to waste. If I were you, I'd be out of this seat in less than a minute. Find a seat with one of your fan girls."

She started blabbing on and on about how stupid celebs were in real life and blah, blah, blah, blah; a bunch of crap that I wasn't even paying attention to. For a girl, she could seriously yap like some crazy-ass Chihuahua dog. Rolling my eyes in disgust, my phone flew back into my hand and I tapped to the messages.

While my phone was set on silent, a tsunami of messages invaded my screen.

_xxxRedPineapplexxx: Oi, Ichigo. Don't turn off your phone to ignore us._

_SilverFoxAwYeah: HEWRO? HEWRO? HEWRO ICHIGOOO?_

_QuincyCross777: I was expecting this to happen._

_FrozenTealDragon: ..._

_xxxRedPineapplexxx: SPAMMING_

_xxxRedPineapplexxx: SPAMMING_

_xxxRedPineapplexxx: SPAMMING_

_xxxRedPineapplexxx: SPAMMING_

_xxxRedPineapplexxx: SPAMMING_

_xxxRedPineapplexxx: SPAMMING_

_xxxRedPineapplexxx: SPAMMING_

_xxxRedPineapplexxx: SPAMMING_

_xxxRedPineapplexxx: SPAMMING_

_xxxRedPineapplexxx: SPAMMING_

_xxxRedPineapplexxx: SPAMMING_

_xxxRedPineapplexxx: SPAMMING_

_xxxRedPineapplexxx: SPAMMING_

_xxxRedPineapplexxx: SPAMMING_

_xxxRedPineapplexxx: SPAMMING_

_xxxRedPineapplexxx: SPAMMING_

_xxxRedPineapplexxx: SPAMMING_

_xxxRedPineapplexxx: SPAMMING_

_xxxRedPineapplexxx: SPAMMING_

_xxxRedPineapplexxx: SPAMMING_

_xxxRedPineapplexxx: SPAMMING_

_xxxRedPineapplexxx: SPAMMING_

_xxxRedPineapplexxx: SPAMMING_

_xxxRedPineapplexxx: SPAMMING_

_xxxRedPineapplexxx: SPAMMING_

_xxxRedPineapplexxx: SPAMMING_

_xxxRedPineapplexxx: SPAMMING_

_xxxRedPineapplexxx: SPAMMING_

_xxxRedPineapplexxx: SPAMMING_

_QuincyCross777: Oh come on, Abarai. We've gone through this before. NO SPAMMING._

_xxxRedPineapplexxx: SPAMMING_

_xxxRedPineapplexxx: SPAMMING_

_xxxRedPineapplexxx: SPAMMING_

_FrozenTealDragon: ..._

_SilverFoxAwYeah: Don't those ellipses count as spamming?_

_FrozenTealDragon: **...**_

_SilverFoxAwYeah: Why you bold them again? _

"You and your dear, dear, idiotic friends have no life." A delicate hand tugged the phone out of my hand.

Oi. Seriously, what's her problem? First she starts lecturing me, then she steals my phone. She sure acts a lot like my mom... or Ishida.

"My brother always says that it isn't nice to ignore people when they're talking to you, _even_ if they're giving you a lecture. Apparently, you never got that speech from your family."

"So? Is that any of your business?" I reached out to grab my phone, but Rukia neatly dodged out of the way. Her eyebrows furrowed as she scanned through the previous messages.

Oh, hell no. There is NO way this is happening. I don't need Rukia to catch on to our plan. But it was too late. Her eyebrows went up even higher as she looked back at me.

"What plan?"

"NO! There's no plan! It's just..." my mind wracked for a suitable excuse. "A secret code! That's it! A secret code between my buddies and me!"

"Uh huh. You expect me to believe you?" Rukia tch-ed and held the phone out to me. "Whatever floats your boat, pretty boy."

Eagerly, my hand reached out to accept the prize. But just as my fingers grazed the cover, Rukia nimbly flipped the phone backwards into the air.

"YOU BITCH! THAT'S MY PHONE! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR?" A torrent of images flashed through my mind.

My games, my apps, EVERYTHING WOULD BE GONE. My phone is almost like my life...and it was dying as it spun through the air in slow-mo.

"Loser. Do you seriously think that I'm that dumb? Orihime, did you catch it?" Rukia turned around to her friend.

I learned that Orihime was the orange-haired girl that had given me that sinister smile minutes before. She nodded. "Kuchiki-san, I've got it!"

"Could you please give it back to me, babe?" I got up and slung an arm around her shoulder. "C'mon, please?"

"I would love to, but orders are orders." Her left fist swung backwards at my already bruised jaw, and I had to fall back into another desk to avoid contact.

I looked up, only to see Orihime twiddle around with the screen and the buttons before she beamed and handed it back to me.

"Here ya go!"

Hurriedly, I turned on my phone to assess the damage. At first, everything seemed normal, but then...

...

...

...

...

...

**WHAT THE F*CK?! DID SHE JUST SERIOUSLY RESET MY WHOLE GODDAMN PHONE? **

**Author's Note: ** I just love torturing Ichigo, ya know? He's such a doofus and it's hilarious what I can do to him.

So, did you like it? *smiles Unohana's sinister smile" I hope you did, cuz I won't update if you didn't.

Just kidding. I like messing around with you guys. Like Gin messing around with people.

**P.S. What are your fave sayings from this chapter? My beta found so many, so we're just wondering if you guys found any to your liking.**


	5. Chapter 4 RUKIA

**Author's Note: **This was written wayyy back when I was still in the states! LOL; it actually hasn't been that long. Cookies to my beta like always, and sake for all the reviewers.

(Also, I'm confused on how I can have so many story followers but only a puny amount of reviews... not trying to offend anyone but don't you think it's strange?)

**UPDATE: **Oh dears. I am sooo sorry to everyone that reviewed... apparently I posted the chapter that was UNFINISHED. This is the real one with an ending. Once again, I am extremely sorry.

-Chapter 4-

RUKIA

The plan is going very well. No one ever suspects Orihime to be a master of electronics. Although she seems like an air-headed bimbo that only causes nosebleeds, but the truth is Orihime has a pristine 3.9 GPA, is on the honor roll, and has a demeanor that is nicer than a bunny. What most people don't know is that their proclaimed "goddess" of the school has a -hmm how should I put this- _way_ with electronics. She is the one that was able to fix Rangiku's smart phone even after it had fallen in the toilet _five_ times. She is the one who revived Tatsuki's Macbook after the latter had smashed the screen while practicing martial arts. If you ever need an electronic repaired, Orihime is the one for the job.

Oh, right. I'm forgetting one crucial fact, aren't I? Right. Orihime is also able to reprogram anything in five minutes or less. So, I had thought that a smart phone wouldn't be that hard to wipe out.

And I was right. Tatsuki crowed out the time our little gadget girl had spent resetting the phone, while Momo recorded the time in her little notebook.

"Hey! It's a new record! Orihime, you only spent fifty-five seconds resetting this phone!" A pencil drifted across the page, noting the sudden dip in time. "What was the last record, Momo?"

Momo looked up and mumbled something under her breath. "One minute, seven seconds."

"Hurray! This calls for a celebration!" Rangiku reached into her purse and pulled out a forbidden flask of... moonshine. She is just about to eagerly unscrew the cap when I maneuver towards her. Clamping a hand on the flask, I pull the whole damn thing away from her.

"We don't need Soi Fon-san to send you to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting, do we?" I hiss in her ear. Luckily for me, Rangiku isn't as dumb as she looks. She quickly slid the contraband item back in her purse, and began to focus on the blackboard.

"As many of you know, my name is Soi Fon. I am here as your homeroom teacher, so please behave in this class. I do not tolerate madness or chaos, nor do I tolerate foolishness at all. Every day I will expect all of you to come in quietly, and sit in your designated seats. These seats will remain your permanent seats until the end of the year." Soi Fon announced to the class.

A tentative hand rose. "Yes, Akumi?"

"Um, Soi Fon-san... are these our designated seats? The seats we are sitting in right now?"

Oh, hell no. Please, don't make me sit next to this bastard of a strawberry for the rest of the year. You have got to be freakin' kidding me. My short-term victory is being rudely pulled out from underneath me in a matter of words.

Dear God, I better start praying for my life. I promise that I will never steal makeup products, even if they are samples, from my brother. I promise that I will never taunt Momo again. I promise that I will let Tatsuki and Orihime use me as their sparring partner whenever they want. I promise that I won't try to stop Rangiku's schemes ever again. Hell, I'll even promise to try and limit myself to draw only two bunnies per day!

Luck is not on my side. Or maybe it's reverse karma?

The next thing you know, Soi Fon-san is talking again. My ears tune in to the verdict.

"What a great idea, Akumi! Now I don't have to spend another twenty hours going through a list!" Crap. I am in deep shit.

Soi Fon-san continued speaking, oblivious to the horrified stares aimed at her. My face is probably the color of milk right now. Turning briefly, I can see Momo mumbling something under her breath. I can also see Rangiku's face paling, Orihime beaming at everyone, and Tatsuki starting up a glaring contest with that red pineapple head.

"So, I've decided that you will all stay where you are! And no switching seats behind my back, or I'll track you down." As she said this, Soi Fon-san began to write on her clipboard.

WHAT THE HELL? I can see a little chibi form of me falling into a deep abyss. Great, just great. Am I stuck with this sonofabitch for the rest of the year? Gimme a break. Someone needs to smash some sense into Soi Fon-san's idiotic mind. I hope that person will be me.

As I look back down at my desk, I can feel the lasers changing their direction. Now they're pointing at me. Wow... immature much? Seriously, I'm in a state of shock. Why are there so many girls who are willing to do anything to sit next to Kurosaki the bastard?

I don't know. It's beyond me.

Meanwhile, Kurosaki is smirking at me with those amber eyes. I can't help it; my forehead starts to twitch and my fist clenches. Keigo once told me that I have anger management issues and referred me to a psychiatrist. I kicked him out of the window, plain and simple. Mizuiro was left to sweep up the mess.

F*ck. Now Kurosaki's sitting on my desk, his arm snaking around my shoulder...

So I do the best thing I can think of. Reaching upwards, I clamp my hand around his arm. With all the brute strength I can muster, I throw him across the classroom.

(Keigo has also said that I had enough strength to beat up an elephant. Maybe that explains why Tatsuki found him under a pile of 10-ton steel beams that same afternoon.)

Now, back to the point. I watch in satisfaction as Kurosaki becomes the first object in the known world to achieve the speed of light initiated by a single person. The Kurosaki missile flies. It flies over everyone in the classroom, over the screaming fan girls, over his stupid friends, over a surprised Soi Fon-san. And finally, the wall greets him with a loud _crack_.

Ah, perfect. Now the blackboard will forever hold a Kurosaki head-sized indent smack dab in the middle of it. Kurosaki slowly slides down, and I can see the thin trail of blood remaining on the wall.

Right. Blood. Blood is the number one thing guaranteed that will have those fan girls screaming in horror... Oh, and have Soi Fon-san throw a tantrum in the classroom. I don't know her that well, seeing as I have only been in her class for two hours at the most. But I'm sure that I just gave her quite possibly the best or the worst first impression ever.

"Kurosaki-kun!" Akumi stands up, and runs over to catch him. Too bad she doesn't know that she isn't the strongest one around here... She ends up being crushed under Kurosaki. Psh; serves her right for being stupid. No self-respecting idiot would try to catch someone twice her size... Unless you are a crazy fan girl, that is.

"KUCHIKI RUKIA!" Oops. Soi Fon-san is pissed, and she's approaching me with her finger out. Everyone knows what that means, right? Kurosaki did mention it last chapter...

(Whoops. Did I just break the fourth wall? My bad.)

Anyway, Soi Fon-san's finger-dagger thing is just inches away from my neck when she suddenly stops. "Kuchiki Rukia," her voice slides over me like a snake. "You. You. You-" She takes a moment to compose herself. "You will go down to the principal's office and explain to him why you've already been sent in on the first day. I don't tolerate _any_ shit," -insert I-can't-believe-that-our-teacher-just-said-that scream, "from _anyone_. You will also take Kurosaki with you to the nurse to patch him up."

Argh. I guess this is what you get after you brutally maim a random classmate. Wait, he isn't random. He's a celebrity, right? And celebrities ALWAYS need special treatment.

Groaning, I sling Kurosaki across my back before fuming out of the classroom. Of course, I can still feel the heated glares my fan girl classmates are giving me. I am pretty sure that if I ask any of them to carry Kurosaki for me, they'd start crawling over me to reach him.

The hallways seem to close in on me as I make slow progress towards the front of the school. Kurosaki has long since passed out, but I can feel his heavy breathing on my back. I cringe when I feel a sticky sensation runs down my shirt. Dammit. Kurosaki here has already stained my _new_ school uniform on the first day. I spent all of my part-time job money buying it, for heaven's sake.

Right when I reach the door marked with "NURSE", I can see the tiniest sliver of light coming from inside. Afraid to intrude, I peek through the door...

...And saw the most disturbing sight ever to meet my eyes. The nurse Unohana-san and the AP Physics teacher Ukitake-san are freaking _making out_ on the desk.

Ugh. I shudder in horror. Don't even get me started. All I know is that I am eternally grateful that my sister gave me "the talk".

My stomach suddenly drops like a stone. Quicker than a fox, I slam my back onto the opposite wall. Wow. I completely forgot about the passed-out boy on my back. Immediately I can hear his groan of pain. Whoops.

"Eh? Do you need something?" A silver-haired girl pokes her head out of the door right behind me. She seems familiar, somehow. Oh, I remember who she is now! She's Isane Kotetsu; a student intern, and my friend Kiyone Kotetsu's older sister.

Isane stares at me a second longer, before noticing the boy behind me. Her face tinges pink, and she asks in a soft voice, "Do you need anything?"

"As a matter of fact, YES. Could you please patch him up?" I motion behind me to the mess. Isane stares a little longer, before asking in that same quiet voice, "Isn't that Kurosaki Ichigo?"

I facepalm; it's the best that I can do in this situation. "Yes it is. Now can you please help me?"

Quietly, Isane motions me into the small room. I can see the shelves neatly lined with medicine and bandages. Noiselessly, Isane shuts the door behind us.

"I'm sorry..."

"My name is Kuchiki Rukia."  
"Oh!" She exclaims. "Kiyone's friend! Well Kuchiki-san, I'm sorry but I'm supposed to be at the university right now doing my thesis." Isane furrows her eyebrows in exasperation. "The best I can do is let you use this room. Please don't take anything, but you're welcome to use anything you want. Everything here is at your disposal." As she says this, I see Isane pull on her coat before flashing me a rare grin. "See you later, Kuchiki-san."

Just my luck. Now here I am, stuck in an empty room with a stuck-up prick who has fainted. Sighing with disgust, I tug Kurosaki until he's right next to the bed. Then I unceremoniously dump him on the bed, and turn around to survey the vast collection of drugs. All of them are at my disposal, so that means I can use them however I want.

My eyes dart over each bottle, squinting at the miniscule words scrawled on their labels. Having no medical experience whatsoever is _really_ helping the situation right now. I feel like some dumb idiot locked in a room filled with complicated college textbooks. How am I supposed to patch Kurosaki up?

Speaking of Kurosaki, his condition is actually pretty well off. The mop of orange hair is matted over a large cut the length of my middle finger, and a quick rub reveals all the blood.

Aw no! I hate blood!  
A dim light bulb flashes over my head, and I quickly scan over each of the bottles again. Pausing, I only pick out two of them: rubbing alcohol and iodine. My sister always used these on my cuts. And by Kuchiki Rukia's Theorem #14, I can heal Kurosaki with these things.

I unscrew each bottle cap, and reach over the sink to grab a few cotton balls. Am I forgetting something? Yes, I am. I wash my hands in the sink, and proceed to yank Kurosaki by the collar until he is sitting up.

The first cotton ball, loaded with a hefty dose of rubbing alcohol, qualifies Kurosaki for the Olympic pole vaulting team. Never have I ever seen a person jump as high in the air as he did. Groaning, I decide the best thing to do is to sit on him. That way he won't jump up again.

The second iodine-laced cotton ball plunges straight to the cut. Kurosaki's eyes open so wide that his pupils have rolled to the back of his head.

Jesus Christ. And I thought that Rangiku is the only one who couldn't tolerate pain.

Naturally, I take this as a sign that the wound is disinfecting. So I rub the first cotton ball on the wound as hard as I can, relishing the silent terror emanating from the person underneath me.

I consider using the deadly-looking syringe lying in a case, but cross the idea out. Seriously... Who the hell wants to be tried for murdering a stinkin' bastard? Definitely not me.

The wound looks a little better than it did a few minutes ago. At least his blood is flowing normally... If you count little fountains of blood as normal. The CBD (Cotton Balls of Doom) are replaced with new ones, and I rub them onto Kurosaki's cut like there's no tomorrow. I'm pretty sure that the quiet agony I sense means that the cut's finally getting clean!

Slowly, I agonizingly drag the cotton ball over the wound _one last time_, laughing internally at the look on Kurosaki's face. Idiot; he must have lost to the pain. I make a huge racket as I search through the cupboards for anything that looks remotely like a bandage. Finally, I scrounge up a jumbo-size box of Band-Aids and some gauze that looks like it belongs in the art room.

Now for the hard decision: do I tape Kurosaki up with as many Band-Aids as possible, or do I wrap enough gauze around his head until he resembles a mummy? My first thought is to plaster all the Band-Aids on him, but I don't need the other people at school to notice my lack of artistic talent. Especially with bandages.

So I go for the gauze. It easily rips apart in my hands, and I walk over to Kurosaki with a length of white ready to go. He's in so much pain that he doesn't even protest when I tie a rope of gauze around his head and start wrapping.

The first few feet of gauze bandage his cut with no trouble, but soon I encounter a problem. Should I continue wrapping the gauze around his head or stop here? I don't want to look like some idiotic toddler that ends up bandaging someone a little too much, but I don't want to seem like a prissy fan girl that took her sweet time bandaging Kurosaki's head. Instead, I opted for the look-I-so-didn't-want-to-waste-twenty-minutes-bandaging-some-sonofabitch's-head method. That practically means that I'll just randomly bandage him. But wait. That sounds too much like my toddler idea.

Groaning in frustration, I proceed to wrap the rest of the gauze around Kurosaki's noggin as haphazardly as possible. If all else fails, I'll just blame a random office aide when I see one.

Finally Kurosaki's head looks decently bandaged, so I tear the gauze with my fingers. As an afterthought but more like a prank, I tie the rest of the gauze up on his head so that he looks like a mutated present of sorts. Perfect.

OH SHIT. I completely forgot about the little "chat" I was supposed to have with the principal! Argh. This is what I hate about medicine. It takes so long to bandage something up that by the time you're finished, twenty minutes have passed in a blink of an eye. Oh. And it's way more fun if you're trapped with a half-dead teenager on the bed. I guess I'm gonna leave him in this room and pick him up later.

A Sharpie is uncapped, and I scrawl three words on Kurosaki's arm. As I leave, I also tape a few Tylenol pills on his palm.

(NO. I DID NOT WRITE "I LOVE YOU" ON HIS ARM. JESUS CHRIST, I F*CKIN' HATE HIM YA KNOW?)

~(After many minutes of struggling to the principal's office)~

"Good morning, Kuchiki-san," the senile old principal motions for me to sit in a chair. You know, the kind that is soft and cushy and makes you want to go to sleep. I snuggle in the chair and primp myself until I look slightly more presentable.

"Good morning to you too, Yamamoto-sama," I reply in a fake, cheerful voice. I've perfected this technique over a span of a week after one of the school's bitchiest bitches tried to bring me down. It comes in handy during sticky situations.

"Now, Kuchiki-san. Mind telling me why you're in my office on the first day of school?" Yamamoto's voice is gruff and soft as he sits back in his desk. "It is rare that someone visits me on the first day."

"Soi Fon-san sent me here."

"Hm? Do I get to know why?" He asks.

"Well, um... You see, I kinda threw a boy into the blackboard?" I add a cheesy grin.

The old man takes a few minutes to process this statement and finally looks back at me. His black eyes sear into my brain. "YOU WHAT?"

Geez. For an old man, his voice is almost loud enough to shatter the windows. Defiantly, I stare back at him and shoot an answer. "Yes. I threw a boy into the blackboard of the classroom hard enough for blood to spill."

Silence. Absolute silence for almost ten minutes. Save for the _tick-tock_ of the clock on the wall, I can almost feel it crush me.

"I am stuck: should I call your family and inform them, or should I let you get back to class. I do not want to initiate any trouble..." Yamamoto leans forward and clasps his hands together. I know exactly what he's talking about.

Apart from being the school's alpha female of my year, I also boost a 4.0 GPA. Wait; don't forget the part about being the soccer team's assistant captain and the gymnastics champion for two years to boot. For some reason, I am also on the debate and the science bowl teams.

My credentials, to put it simply... are phenomenal. Yamamoto could never dream of suspending me. EVER. Heck, I think he will rather shave off his marvelous beard before even touching a suspension slip meant for me.

"The boy has already been attended to," I pause to take a breath. "All I am doing is waiting for you to tell me if I can go back to class or not. So... may I go back to class?"

"Hm? That's a good question, Kuchiki-san. At first I thought the obvious answer was a short suspension period. But since that would tarnish your record, I've decided that you will get detention after school on activity-free days."

Great! That means that I can still annoy people when I want to!  
"And how long will it be? The detention, I mean."

"It will be for a month as I am aware that you have lots of activities. The time will be from right after school till six." Yamamoto closes his eyes. I catch a flash of exasperation in them right before they disappear. "Kuchiki-san, you are the student that visits my room the most. Please, can you try to refrain from killing any boys?"

"Fine," I mutter under my breath as I stand up and push in the chair. "Meanwhile, should I take the boy back to class?"

"The _boy_? Could you please use his real name for once, Kuchiki-san?"

"Kurosaki Ichigo. _Strawberry_." I put emphasis on the third word. "He's new."

"I know." The old man in front of me suddenly lapses off into what I imagine is his dream world. "Strawberries are good, but bananas are even better. I mean, bananas have potassium and Vitamin C, and strawberries only have Vitamin C. And speaking of which, I don't think I've taken my supplements today. Like, you know those huge pills that get stuck in your throat and you end up going to the hospital? OH, OH, OH a few days ago, I had my tonsils removed. Finally-"

I shut the door as he continues rambling on about tonsils and their benefits. The one fact that always confuses me is how the school can afford having an Alzheimer's disease-ridden principal at the head.

Kurosaki seems relatively conscious when I return to the office. The Tylenol, I note, has been consumed. He's staring at me intently.

"What?!" My ears tinge pink in embarrassment for having a boy literally glare at me for so long.

"Just wondering how a small girl like you pulled me to this room. And by yourself, too." His grin is accented with that ridiculous bow on his head. My composure slips, and I start laughing. Loudly.

His reaction is even worse than mine. The strawberry's composure slips and he starts screaming in my face. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU LAUGHING AT?"

Angrily, I match volume to volume. "WHY THE HELL DID YOU INSULT ME THEN?"

"SHUT UP YOU BRAT! WHO WAS THE ONE THAT SLAMMED ME INTO THE BLACKBOARD? HUH?"

"WHO WAS THE ONE THAT WAS TRYING TO PUT THEIR ARM AROUND ME?"

"MIDGET!"

"STRAWBERRY!"

"YOU SUCK!"

"RICH BASTARD!"

"TWERP!"

"SONOFABITCH!"

We end up screaming at each other so much that my eardrums start to burst. At that moment, the door slams open and I can see the furious face of Yamamoto.

He's leaning on his cane, and staring at us as if we're some bunch of trash.

"I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU NOT TO FIGHT AGAIN, KUCHIKI!" Bellowing, Yamamoto raises the cane out at us and shakes it in a threatening manner. "NOW GET OUT! I'M SUSPENDING BOTH OF YOU FOR TODAY! GET OUT!"

Kurosaki quickly dashes past me into the hall. I follow, albeit at a much slower pace because, like always, ya gotta make a good last impression at least.

As I pass by the old geezer, I hear him muttering under his breath.

"God, kids these days. Don't they know not to flirt around so loudly? Is this their way of courting now? Well I remember that as a kid, we had the old-fashioned flowers and dates and things. But _this_?"

It takes all my willpower and training not to kill Yamamoto then and there.

**Author's Note: **Once again, I am extremely sorry. Don't kill me :(


End file.
